Tackling the Emotional Side of Cancer

                    By: Laura M. Neal, MSW, MPH, LCSW

                    Senior Oncology Social Worker with Ellis Fischel Cancer Center

For someone going through cancer, the physical challenges-the pain, discomfort, fatigue, nausea, and side effects of treatment-can be enormous. But the emotional side of the disease can be just as difficult to deal with: the fear, anger, despair, and other feelings that cancer brings.

"You have cancer." How can one describe what emotional impact those three words have? Many feel an almost instantaneous and overwhelming series of different emotions. Later, after the shock of the initial news, cancer patients can name the emotions: disbelief, anger, fear, hope.

Disbelief. Despite cancer’s far-too-common existence in our world, most people don’t believe that they could be affected. Cancer is something that other people have. Even after the physical manifestations of the disease become apparent, some cancer patients’ disbeliefs continue in another form, which leads many to feel, "OK, I have cancer, but I refuse to believe that it will take a huge toll on me." This denial, though natural, needs to be dealt with and understood. Cancer can take an enormous toll on patients and those who love them. Facing this denial helps begin mental healing.

Anger. Disbelief soon turns into anger for many dealing with life-threatening and/or stressful situations. Many patients feel they don’t have time for this sickness. And even more feel as though they have been trying to be good people, trying to do what they thought God wanted them to do. Many ask, "What is God thinking? Why?" It is perfectly normal to want to scream and be anger. Not only is it normal, it is OK to do so. However, many try to hold this emotion back and feel a tremendous sense of guilt for questioning their Creator. Ranting and raving is exactly what many cancer patients need, and to realize how important it is to give vent to this emotion.

Fear. "What if I don’t get better? What if the optimistic prognoses don’t apply to me? What if I can’t handle the suffering that seems to be heading right for me? What if I die?" As fear presents its ugly head, it becomes more important for many to have the presence of others in their lives. Many patients need to have someone they can turn to and tell them their fears and be validated, but also reassured that right now they are OK. Sometimes you may need someone to tell you that terrible things are going to happen, but you will not face them alone.

Hope. The most abiding emotion is hope. Hope that you will survive. Hope that, come what may, something in you will be made stronger by this experience, and that you will learn and grow from it. The most beautiful of these emotions is hope and it helps to temper all of the above.

- Feeling overwhelmed by fears, panic, dread, worthlessness, or despair

- Feeling so sad that you feel you cannot go through treatment

- Unusual irritability and anger

- Poor concentration and sudden memory problems

- Difficulty making decisions

- Constant thoughts about cancer and/or death

No matter what you are feeling throughout your cancer journey, it is important to remember that each individual’s journey is different. There is no one right way to cope and survive. From denial to anger, despair and fear, the emotional side of cancer can be just as much an ordeal as the physical side. But cancer patients, like you, can also find hope, faith, the love and help of family and friends, and the strength to continue, even in the darkest times, in the journey through cancer. Never give up, never! You owe it to yourself, your loved ones, and in some way to all others out there battling cancer to fight with everything you’ve got. It won’t be easy, and no one can blame you if you have times when you feel like giving up. But don’t. If what you’ve got is a fight in front of you, live for it. Live for the fight, and for after the fight.

There is much available to you during your journey. You should never feel alone. This Foundation, oncology social workers, medical chaplains and your personal pastor, support groups, local and national organizations, and your Creator are all here for you. If you feel you need assistance with your emotional battle through your cancer journey, or you are concerned about your emotional state, please call me at 573-884-1509.